my 'little' confession

dear lord, whoever you are, please forgive all that i had done.....its..its...really late to realize what i had done can't be rewind back like a CD or DVD player T__T isn't it too late? that i just realize it after i came here, to US.people always say you'll only appreciate someone or something after they are gone. it's too late to mend the problems....yeah i guess it's true for me =.= sorry grampa, ahgong!! for what I've done..i always knew i treated you coldly and never respect you at all.i always thought that you are very annoying, having nothing to say besides calling out all my 'boy' friends names and asking me how they are. i know you are lonely, sitting at the corner alone everyday, waiting for us to chat with you. i know you don't know what else to say to me other than simply asking questions to start a convo.. i know...i know that....sorry..i know you always want me to be happy and always fulfilled whatever i asked. in return, i treat you as a 'bank' or 'waterfish' to buy things that babie and amie won't buy for me. i thought that i must respect you because i have received favors and gifts from you and that's why i always rejected your gifts and money just so i don't have to respect you. i was wrong i was so wrong i should shoot myself!!! how can i thought it that way!!! forgive my stupidity and disrespectful deeds.. im terribly sorry. as a granddaughter i should respect you regardless of anything!! what the hell was i doing before!! i had always hated you for not respecting my gramma and saying bad things about her but i know that's because you're jealous of how i treat her better than you... i know....even when you miss us and tried to call us here, i spoke rudely to you. sorry...i know i should have been hanged... i'm now so far away from you.. i can't visit you even you're sick.. i'm sorry... i'll try to call you more often. please take care your health, no more worries cause we're doing well here. sorry

-disrespectful child-